I had a face off with a gang of do-no-good-ers* who first spat at my back then hit me on the head with a plastic bottle when I spun round to shoot them my best Teacher Stare.**
Before I could sternly give them a good telling off to, a 12 year old girl in grey tracksuit came marching up and the following dialogue occurred:
Teen: What? What you you gonna do abaaaat it innit?
Me: I am going to go home, what YOU gonna do abaaat it?
Teen: What YOU gonna do about it! You can’t even protect yourself!
Me: How do YOU know? You don’t know what I do for a living do ya?
Teen: Well, if you were police, you would have arrested me by now innit?
With that, I walked off.
She was Catherine Tate personified.
I now fear for my life. Really.
*Read: little local wankers.
**I am not a teacher. I have however, the Teacher Stare genetically imprinted.